The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
