You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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