Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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