Whod you bang
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
