So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
