Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
