Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
