I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
