32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
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The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
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My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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