His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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