pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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