I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
