drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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