If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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