It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.