Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
