she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
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i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
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My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i now understand why vodka
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it