Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet

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  (440): I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet http://tfl.nu/p3em
  Replies (27) Good night (6471) Bad night (852)
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  (607): View more from New York

  just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.

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  (607): just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school. http://tfl.nu/1unl
  Replies (20) Good night (4522) Bad night (872)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body

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  (281): I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body http://tfl.nu/esoz
  Replies (17) Good night (3447) Bad night (1072)
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  (718): View more from New York

  you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes

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  (718): you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes http://tfl.nu/46zk
  Replies (9) Good night (769) Bad night (2811)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.

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  (641): Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody. http://tfl.nu/w6pt
  Replies (11) Good night (3127) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.

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  (509): My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood. http://tfl.nu/0wqb
  Replies (11) Good night (583) Bad night (3790)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!

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  (253): When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?! http://tfl.nu/f0hc
  Replies (12) Good night (668) Bad night (1732)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.

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  (612): Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up. http://tfl.nu/k33q
  Replies (3) Good night (1831) Bad night (592)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  soon, soon....

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....

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  (732): soon, soon.... (908): I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus..... http://tfl.nu/hpc3
  Replies (4) Good night (1005) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shit is preposterous

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  (610): I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans (610): Shit is preposterous http://tfl.nu/iova
  Replies (2) Good night (792) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.

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  (419): She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird. http://tfl.nu/4ytr
  Replies (1) Good night (815) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.

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  (+44): Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened. http://tfl.nu/e2xg
  Replies (1) Good night (596) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this

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  (313): If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this http://tfl.nu/se64
  Replies (4) Good night (361) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.

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  (609): The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here. http://tfl.nu/fl13
  Replies (1) Good night (487) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head

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  (734): Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head http://tfl.nu/shcw
  Replies (1) Good night (514) Bad night (131)

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