Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".