sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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