I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
