Your mouth is God's brothel.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
