I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
