i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
