he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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