Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
3pm strippers are depressing
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
