shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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