Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
