operation harelip BJ is a go
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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