There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
