i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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