just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
