Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My penis needs a shock collar
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
