sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
