dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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