Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
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Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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