I want to have your abortion
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
