This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
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I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
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Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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