I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
