I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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