I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize