I wannas sexs uuuuu
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
