How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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