living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
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We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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