Are we in a gay sports bar?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
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