What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
