google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
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becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
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i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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