"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
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I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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