party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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