a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
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