can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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