I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize