Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Let's get the cat blown out
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
