I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
