I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize