So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
