I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
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do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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