he wants to bone in the snuggie
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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