so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
