i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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