my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
